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The yard stick he uses to assess what is "normal" is so warped that he has lost touch with what a happy life could look like he often berates himself for feeling so miserable given how "easy" his schedule is at just 65 hours a week, not like surgery or some other 80 hour a week speciality. Your husbands love you, and love that you are able to do what they cannot. Raising our children as believers is proving to be very tricky. I was scared to bring it up and make it seem like a demand or ultimatum, so I think I will approach him in the way you described. If she is full on Mormon, this relationship will go one of two ways: You will convert and change your entire lifestyle and personality to conform with her expectations never to deconvert or you will face severe penalitesor you will break up because you won't convert and change everything about yourself. Expect her to either write you off during her mission or pressure you to show interest in the church.
When we were dating he made it very clear to me that he had no desire to come back to church. I still feel enriched by the contrasts, but in the important things, we have largely come together. I feel to say, if you hear this, Amy, in time, it will all come round right. Read that entire speech and you will see a slew of racist statements. There is still a chance you can work out your differences, but it will require major concessions on both sides. The sons inevitably went inactive later in life. I'm pretty disturbed by the level of dismissiveness seen in many of the comments here.